Adagio for Albariño

Ever wished your glass of malbec was more musical or that your sauvignon sings? No, of course not. But we all grew up knowing that our mothers' glassware could make sweet music. The glasses pictured above have been made to satisfy that kid inside. Each glass is marked with musical notations to denote the exact amount of albariño required to create the perfect pitch (we assure you that albariño is by far the best wine for this purpose).

Unfortunately these glasses don't come cheap, so start saving up so you can play that sonata. And at least if you don't succeed in creating musical magic, you can always console yourself with a decent glass of Castro Martin!

Beer for dogs! What next, wine for cats?

In the difficult economic climate that exists at the moment we are always looking for new ways to develop our sales.

We recently saw a beef flavoured beer especially developed for dogs, in a glass bottle with a picture of a weimaraner on the label. Imported from Holland it is called Kwispelbier, which literally translated means 'tail-wagging beer'. Made using a traditional beer brewing technique, it contains malted barley extract and absolutely nothing harmful - consequently the dogs are really lapping it up (in every sense of the word!)

So, if they can make a beer for dogs, then why not a wine for cats? We are so near the sea that consumers often say that they can taste the salt air in our Albariño, so how about enhancing this flavour with a bit of fish or seafood? It would be quite a simple process to macerate some fish or seafood in the tanks - et voila! A new product for cats, opening a whole new world of possibilities for our bodega.

Any suggestions for a suitable name? How about 'CataPesca' - which loosely translated would mean 'tasting of fish'?

Birds die of alcohol poisoning!

In the last few months there have been several reports of dead birds falling from the skies, which quite understandably, have been followed by investigations and conjecture as to the cause of each tragedy (including one or two conspiracy theories).

In Arkansas the deaths were blamed on New Year's Eve fireworks that caused the birds severe trauma, effectively scaring them to death. However, and alternative theory suggests that it could have been something to do with a tornado that killed three people in the same area earlier in the day.

On 3rd and 4th January dead birds were then discovered both in Louisiana and Falkoping, Southeastern Sweden, closely followed by several hundred more in Western Kentucky and Texas.

The lack of apparent detail for the reasons behind this avian carnage has generated countless theories, ranging from the changing of the earth’s magnetic poles to, a governmental plot and, naturally, aliens!
 
The very latest incident in Romania has, however, been fully explained.... it has been put down to alcohol. Birds that were originally thought to have died from Avian flu, instead apparently, drank themselves to death!
 
Romanian officials decided the starlings had died after eating grape 'marc' - the leftovers from the wine-making process. The head of the local veterinary authority said that analysis of the starlings' gizzards showed they had died from alcohol poisoning.

Wine vending? Whatever next?

The law in Pennsylvania does not allow wine to be sold on shop or supermarket shelves - so what is the answer? Yes, a wine vending machine! Well, you have to give them points for original thinking, even though the machine itself is just a bit complicated.

When I say complicated I don't just mean navigating your way around the selection of wine on offer, I actually mean the way in which you access a bottle. The first step is to enter your driving licence, which obviously satisfies the age requirement problem - oh, but then you have to prove that the licence is yours - so then the integrated surveillance camera kicks in and does a bit of face recognition to confirm your identity.

Finally the machine checks to see if you are already drunk by using its own breathalyzer system...... perhaps if you fail this test the machine deploys its own handcuffs!

Let's just hope that once you have gone through all this rigmarole that you remembered to bring your wallet.

The woes of being English

I have been trying hard not to mention football too much (especially after the season that my beloved Liverpool FC have had), but now my heartache and despair is prolonged by the pain of watching my national team perform in the 2010 World Cup.

Our problem appears to be that we over-rate ourselves. Yes, true, we have a great Premier League, with some of the best club sides in the world, but at national level, well, that's quite a different story.....

On paper at least, we should do well, and if the competition was decided by how much our players earn, then we would certainly be the world champions. The problem is that for some reason when our players pull on an England shirt they perform like a bunch of Sunday League pub footballers. Well, OK, that might appear to be a bit of an exaggeration, but then did you see the goal that the USA scored against us on Saturday?

In recent years this is the third embarrassing goalkeeping gaff that we have been made to endure in serious competition. The first, a keepers 'fresh-air kick' in Croatia, allowing the ball to roll over his foot into his own net. The next, another 'Teflon® Glove' incident at Wembley, very similar to last night's debacle. And now this third error in Rustenberg, which may well go down in history for all the wrong reasons. (Neutrals please note that all three blunders were made by three different England 'International' goalkeepers)!

Oh, the joys of being an England supporter.....

Robo-crop

I have to start by telling you that this photo was not taken in our vineyard. Indeed, I rather suspect that the young man in the shot is not Galician either! This picture does however represent, perhaps, a glimpse into the future of fruit gathering....

It shows a postgraduate student from Tokyo university wearing a motorised exoskeleton that has been developed to help ageing workers endure the strain of their labours. Apparently nearly two thirds of Japan's farmers are aged 65 and over, so in order to help those aching joints the department of Agricultural Technology has created this special robotic suit designed to boost the wearers strength by more than 60%.

Using movement sensors, voice recognition and eight electric motors, the machine is designed to ease pressure on the joints and assist muscular activity when bending, crouching or lifting. After 15 years of development it is expected to go into production within the next 12 months, and further enhancements are also planned - augmented reality goggles may inform farmers about the ripeness of their crop, their heart rate and calorie consumption etc.

Industrial robots have long been common in Japan, and these robo-suits are already making inroads into hospitals and nursing homes where they can assist not only in moving and lifting patients, but also in aiding rehabilitation exercises.

Whilst we already use battery operated shears for pruning, at a cost of around $11,000 each, we have no plans to buy any skeletons in the near future - motorised or otherwise!

The other French paradox

Now you would think that one of the most important wine producing countries in the world would have it's own wine TV channel, wouldn't you? Well, apparently not - the French government is blocking plans to set one up!

The French, quite incredibly, have probably the most draconian laws prohibiting the advertising and promotion of wine outside of the Muslim world. The law states quite simply that “all direct or indirect propaganda in favour of alcoholic drinks” on television, is completely forbidden. Apparently the controlling body will only give permission to the proposed channel if it drops its' plans for programmes featuring wine-tastings and expert discussions on wine - but then what would be the point?

Reluctantly, the production company is now looking at alternatives - for example, basing themselves in Luxembourg and broadcasting to France via satellite, or possibly setting up in the UK. Whatever the solution, the founder of the channel has said “It’s not just surprising, it’s a scandal,” and to be very honest I tend to agree with him!

He went on to explain, "We want to have interactive wine-tastings where viewers give us their opinions . . . and have experts offering advice on what you should drink with such and such a dish. But that is banned in France’s prohibitionist environment. You can only talk about wine in the most abstract way.”

I guess one could argue that these new, stricter rules are working, as the French now consume an average of around 25% less alcohol than they did 20 years ago.

You thieving baboon!

No, I'm not being rude, the baboons really are stealing - not that this is anything new. Tourist offices around the world often issue warnings to visitors about the aggressive behaviour of these primates. They advise people not to stand around with food in their hands or leave the car with open boot (trunk), windows or doors. They also tell you that baboons will steal food and bags from inside the car, and of course, that you should take extra care when planning a picnic - these animals will simply run up to you and grab your food! The more you feed them, the more bold and aggressive they become.

Unfortunately the problem has now spread to wine country - Chachma Baboons in South Africa's Western Cape wine region have recently developed a taste for Chardonnay grapes and are terrorising farmers, munching their way through tonnes of grapes that are ready for harvesting. Farms in the Franschhoek Valley have been devastated by rampaging baboons, who sneak into secured plots and help themselves to top grade grapes. In some cases up to 40 percent of the harvest has been lost!

I have read that there are apparently only 360 baboons remaining on the Cape Peninsula. They have been there for hundreds, if not thousands of years but are now threatened due to conflict with humans. It goes without saying that the conservationists are keen to protect the last baboons on the tip of Africa, but at what cost to the wine producers?

Similar to my Coho Salmon story of only a few weeks ago - yet another conflict between man and beast......

What's in a name?

Our very own 'vine beauticians' at work

I will name no names, but suffice to say that I received an e-mail recently from one of my contacts and couldn't help but notice that his job title had changed - I cannot tell you what the new job title was (as that would give the game away), but the new description did at least grab my attention.

I have since read that this could possibly be part of a new phenomenon borne out of the recession that goes under the rather dubious banner of 'job title inflation'. As employers find themselves unable to increase the remuneration of their staff, they are instead playing a word game by upgrading job titles in an attempt to make their employees feel more valued.

For example, a shelf-stacker in a supermarket becomes an ambient replenishment controller, and a school caretaker is now head of services, infrastructure and procurement....... What ever happened to the campaign for plain English I ask myself?

Anyway, it can all be rather amusing, and so just to make you smile for a few moments, here are some of my favourites:

Beverage Dissemination Officer = Barman
Colour Distribution Technician = Painter & Decorator
Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant = Shop Assistant
Domestic Technician = Housewife
Education Centre Nourishment Consultant = Dinner Lady
Highway Environmental Hygienist = Road Sweeper
Field Nourishment Consultant = Waitress
Five a Day Collection Operative = Fruit Picker
Front Line Customer Support Facilitator = Call Centre Worker
Gastronomical Hygiene Technician = Dish Washer
Mass Production Engineer = Factory Worker
Media Distribution Officer = Paper Boy
Mobile Sustenance Facilitator = Burger Van Worker
Mortar Logistics Engineer = Bricklayer
Petroleum Transfer Engineer = Petrol Station Assistant
Recycling Operative = Bin Man
Sanitation Consultant = Toilet Cleaner

Coin Facilitation Engineer = Toll Booth Collector
Transparency Enhancement Facilitator = Window Cleaner
Vehicle Restoration Engineer = Panel Beater

Not to be out done by this, I have come up with a new title for Angela, in charge of making our wine. In future she will be known as our Senior Grape Conversion Technician.

And me? Well, I'll just keep my original title - Life Explorer and Experience Architect!

The last laugh

I thought that I had probably already made my last blog entry of 2009...... until I opened my e-mail this morning. OK, so it might be just a bit of 'schoolboy' humour, but it did make me smile for a moment.

The e-mail was from an agency offering pretty girls and/or models to 'pose' on our stand at the Alimentaria trade fair next spring.

And the name of the individual who sent this mail? The very aptly named Gloria Bosom.......Ho, ho, ho!

Post Script (no pun intended)

OK, so only two minutes after I made the last blog entry I checked the tracking site of the aforementioned parcel from Hungary..... it re-appeared on the site (but with a gap of two days). At least I know that it's arrived in Spain, albeit I don't know exactly where.

(By the way, I do realise that these are International courier companies, and therefore you may think that Spain is not necessarily at fault. However, it is my belief is the problem may be caused by a failure of updates, or possibly scans at local depots).

Of course, if there is anyone out there who can shed any more light on how this courier system works, I am more than happy to be corrected.

Spanish post excels!

I am usually the first to criticise the Spanish postal service (joking that they must still be using donkeys to move the mail), but on this occassion I find myself obliged to compliment them on a small but significant event.

A couple of days ago I signed a batch of Christmas cards to send out to friends and family, anticipating that they might take a couple of weeks to reach their various destinations around the world. They were posted (using a standard service) on Monday, and so imagine my surprise when, only two days later, I was speaking to a contact in England and they thanked me for my card! My astonishment that they had arrived so quickly was however tinged with a small concern. That my friends might consider me a very 'sad' person for sending out my Christmas cards so early (I just call it being organised, and that's my excuse)!

To balance my story I still have one small complaint about the courier services in this country...... Yes, they do work, but then fail miserably when it comes to updating the tracking information on their websites. It's as if your package disappears into a black hole when it reaches the Spanish border, at least until the moment that it arrives on your doorstep. At this very moment I am tracking a parcel that started in Hungary (don't ask), moved on to Austria and then Germany, where it boarded a plane to Spain where it disappeared two days ago.

Maybe the European Community has developed it's own 'Bermuda triangle' - possibly the same place that they send all our taxes!

Another time, another place

In many countries around the world time plays an important part in peoples lives - the Swiss with their clock industry, the Japanese with their bullet trains, and the UK with their clock watchers (only joking!) - Spain is not one of these countries.

Now, some would say that the Spanish attitude to time is to be admired, creating a relaxed, informal, stress-free environment, whilst the hard-nosed business type might just say that it is just plain annoying. I think I am somewhere between the two - I don't want the stress, but I do want people to turn up on time for their appointments!

On face value some might say that the random attitude to time is taught from a very early age. For example, in some local schools which are supposed to start at 09.30am, I regularly see their school buses still out on the road with children on board at 09.35am or 09.40am. Not only does this apply to the official school buses, but also to the parents who are still delivering their children 10 or 15 minutes late, every day - so what sort of 'educational' message does that send out? Timekeeping should be regarded as merely an approximation - más o menos, more or less? Indeed, there are actually official signs hanging in hospital waiting rooms which rather confirm this by saying - your appointment time is only indicative, and will almost certainly not be respected...... (OK, so I added the second part myself). However, it is more than a little disconcerting to see your doctor or specialist arriving for work 10 or 15 minutes after the time of his or her first appointment. I'm afraid to say that I have experienced this myself on a couple of occasions with both doctors and dentists, and must say that I find it more than a little disrespectful, not to mention quite annoying.

I sometimes think that Spain appears to live in a quite different time zone to the rest of Europe, and one of the most common complaints of first time visitors are the meal times - Lunch from about 2pm to 4pm, and dinner starting from around 10pm until more or less whatever time you care to turn up. Joking apart, on many occassions I have witnessed people walking into restaurants at around 3.45pm and still being offered a table for lunch. I must say that I doubt if this would happen in Germany!

This seemingly casual attitude to time manifests itself in many different ways, not just in people failing to show up on time for appointments, but also in sending out invitations for meetings and business seminars etc. We often receive invitations for functions giving us only two or three days notice, that makes any forward planning extremely difficult. It sometimes gives the impression that the organiser has suddenly had a last minute idea, and then quickly sent out a few invites. Whilst I am sure that this is not really the case, it certainly keeps us on our toes, and our diaries fluid.

Oh, and one last thing - hands up how many countries you know that show childrens' Disney films starting at 10pm at night..... I know one.

Are you colour blind?

Click on image to enlarge

So, it's been a few days since my last blog entry, but as I think I mentioned we have been really busy, bottling and generally catching up with post-harvest jobs. Alcoholic fermentations are almost finished, and everything is still looking pretty good..... we remain optimistic.

As a bit of light relief I just wanted to make another post about road signs, but this time nothing to do with directions to our own bodega.

The local council have recently updated many road signs in our area, including those highlighting recommended wine routes. Each type of sign has a colour coded background, so that you can instantly identify the category of attraction or monument being signposted. For example, the old wine route signs used to have a dark, bottle green background, and these have now been updated with a horrible, rancid, pale green colour - not the most attractive selection.

The most dramatic of these changes is, without doubt, the historical monuments - formerly a sober brown colour, the signs have now been changed to a rather sickly, fluorescent mustard-yellow colour. Of course you might imagine that such a bright colour would stand out, whereas in fact the exact opposite is true.

The picture above shows a fairly huge sign at the side of our local Autovia, directing would be visitors to a nearby monastery, or at least that is what I think it says! The problem is that the new sign is almost totally illegible until you are within about 10 or 15 metres of it, and in very bright sunlight you can barely read the lettering at all.

This has not gone unnoticed in the local press, and questions are being asked as to how this colour could have been selected in the first place....... either bad taste, or perhaps just poor judgement? Out here in the countryside is doesn't take much to make the local news!

Tree fellers or three fellas?

A bit of light relief before the serious business starts next week.....

Well, there's nothing funny about cutting down a dead tree I hear you say, but let me tell you that this is not the first attempt.

I am not sure if this work was being carried out by contractors or by the local council, but the men who turned up last Saturday to do the job were certainly not adequately equipped. There were probably five or six men, two chainsaws and just one, very short pair of ladders (that proved to be their downfall). The ladder was barely long enough to reach even the lowest branch - they just about managed to cut it off, trim it into small pieces and load it onto their truck.

The second branch was simply too high for their woefully short ladder, and so they spent the next half-hour chatting, looking up at the tree, probably reluctantly deciding that it was impossible for them to continue any further. Very much a wasted morning!

Today the real workmen turned up - two large trucks and lots of chainsaws. Road closed, job done, as simple as that.

Castro Martin welcomes world famous visitor

During the month of August many industries grind to a halt for annual leave, whilst journalists and news agencies scratch around for any snippet of news that they deem to be worth reporting. Often these stories will either be quite trivial, or perhaps cute (or sometimes even both, as in the case of our squirrel friend here).

Just in case you have not been following the news, please click on the link. Knowing my sense of humour you will no doubt understand why I couldn't resist resorting to Photoshop once more!

And speaking of odd happenings in August, only this morning I received a marketing e-mail that was signed as follows:

Un saludo,
JOSE LUIS GONZALEZ
MR. MONKEY

915**30**

A new illness?

Talking of statistics (as we were a few days ago), a recent survey has suggested that a very high percentage of those taking time off work claiming to have swine flu might not actually be telling the truth, and are simply taking advantage of this rather worrying pandemic.

Perhaps they are confusing the symptoms and have actually been afflicted by something quite different...... WINE FLU!!!

If you have over indulged a little, here are a couple of old remedies that you might care to try:

In Outer Mongolia, a pair of pickled sheeps eyes in tomato juice is thought to be the answer to a thumping headache, whilst cattle ropers in the Old West opted for tea brewed from rabbit droppings. In Ancient Rome, party-goers breakfasted on sheep lungs and two owl eggs and in Ancient Greece the cure was deep-fried canaries (although it was never specified if this was on or off-the-bone!)

For details of these recipes, please visit our main website.

A 'model' daughter?

Click on image to enlarge

The other day I was casually thumbing through some old wine magazines, when the above picture of the Swiss family Herzog caught my eye.

They now reside in New Zealand and run a successful winery there, but it was something far more basic than that which troubled me..... is the young girl in the picture their beautiful waif-like daughter (or possibly estate worker), or is this 'person' really a shop mannequin dressed up and placed in the vineyard for a joke?

It's one of those annoying little conundrums for which I would like to have an answer. Each time I look at the picture myself I come to a different conclusion!

Is there anybody out there who knows these people, and who can put me out of my misery (I think I have at least three regular readers in New Zealand and many more in Australia)?

Only in Spain

A bull with four wheels is safer than one with two horns....

It's that time of year again, when a young man's thoughts turn to dashing down the streets of Pamplona ahead of twelve rampaging bulls. For some this will represent the ultimate macho adrenalin rush, whilst for many others, it is just plain stupid.

Only yesterday a Spaniard, and American and an Irishman (no, this is not the opening line of a joke) were admitted to hospital with minor injuries, only one day after a man was tragically gored to death. He was the 15th person to die in the annual bull run, and the first since 1995 when a 22-year-old American was killed. For some reason the Americans have faired rather badly in this festival, as it was only a couple of years ago one poor fellow from New York was paralyzed from the neck downwards.

Here in Galicia we have our own, marginally less dangerous, 'festival' that takes place at the beginning of July - the Rapa das Bestas - horse wrestling to you and me! As ever, I have no doubt there will be some tenuously humane justification for the event........

Of course, dangerous sports have been around for centuries, and have not only included the likes of bull fighting and bull running, but also wild adventures such as the infamous Cresta Run, where participants hurtle at high speed down a track of solid ice on not much more than a converted tea-tray!

The modern era of extreme sports was probably brought to the fore by the invention of bungee jumping in the late 70's, and now includes an endless list, such as base jumping, hang gliding, extreme ski-ing and golf (did you realise that 5% of all lightning related deaths take place on the golf course?)

So what's next on the list? Happy-slapping crocodiles?

A bit of trivia

I am fairly confident that there is not one single person who has been losing sleep wondering what was so odd about the Liverpool football shirt that I was wearing last week, in truth it's barely worth mentioning - but just in case.....

The fact is that my post was made last Monday, 8th June and the shirt that I was wearing was not officially launched until Wednesday 10th June. Now, I would love to tell you that I am a personal friend of Fernando Torres, who buys our wine and who sent me a pre-release edition of his shirt, but then this is of course, only in my dreams. The dull, boring reality of the story is that for once the Spanish postal system excelled and they delivered the parcel to me much quicker than the sender had anticipated.

I am usually quite scathing about the Spanish 'Correos', often joking that they still use donkeys to move mail around the countryside. On this occassion I have to say 'the boys done well', so credit where credit's due.

See, I told you it wasn't worth mentioning!